One lesson I am continually learning in life is the power of surrender. It’s a simple little word, isn't it? Surrender? But to do so involves letting go of control, of the illusion of control. If we’re talking about where to eat dinner, surrender is an easy thing. Sure – you pick. Go for it. If we’re talking about protecting our children, surrender sounds like an impossibility. But the truth is that surrender is important whether we’re talking food or dependents. It is equally valuable and equally powerful.
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” - Eckhart Tolle
Because of events involving my daughter and my ex-husband. I’m six years into a journey I wouldn't have chosen in my most demented nightmares, but am still managing to not just survive, but evolve and at times thrive within. It hasn't always been easy.
Today I had a meeting that I would have rather not attended. I did shed a few frustrated tears as my mind pushed against the necessity of me hanging out with my ex and a handful of professionals. The topic was his desires versus my daughter’s needs as overseen by the State of Iowa. In the past, preparation for this meeting would have involved conversations with a therapist, my friends, my family, co-workers. Lots of people. I’d have attended the actual meeting, trying not to be physically ill from my nerves and anxiety. Taken a shower afterwards to wash it away. Then a re-hash of the meeting with the aforementioned support group I am blessed to have. That is a whole lot of power to give to a few hours, isn't it?
My evolution of surrender has taught me to not do any of the above. I try not to “hype” the event beforehand (but did ask my FB community for good vibes). I go to the meeting. I leave the meeting. I leave the meeting there. Done deal. It doesn’t warrant an energy outletting of any magnitude. It’s a blip on my radar. A big(ger) one. But just a blip. Letting it go without giving it anything else is the most powerful thing I can do for myself. It may sound easy. It hasn't been for me.
If I were writing a course or helping a friend learn how to get through a difficult life experience, it would involve a series of nuanced lessons. Things that are subtle but incredibly effective. A few examples?
Vulnerability is more powerful than stoicism. It’s ok to have hard days and to give them no more or no less than they deserve. Our words create realities and give power, and thus both our thoughts and words should be carefully regarded and evaluated. Give your energy to love and fear dies from a lack of focus.
It’s trite to say that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. But it is true.
At the beginning of this particular journey, a dear friend shared this song with me. I remember at the time mentally rejecting it with every ounce of my being. Wanting sweeping victories. Wham Bam Boom victories. Little victories? Little? Really? No. I wanted the A-bomb, baby.
It turns out that as with most things in life, it mostly is the little stuff that matters. Every time I surrender to an emotion, an event, a reality, I am becoming more me. More of a me that I am proud to be.
Don’t knock the little. It’s big.
No comments:
Post a Comment