There are people that can make my heart smile simply by
breathing in my presence.
You know the ones. They come into a room and you feel good
simply laying eyes upon them. They don’t need to say anything special. They don’t
need to do anything special. They simply are special to you.
I am graced with several of these people (and one cat even)
in my world. They all exude warmth. I bathe in it.
Then there are those who repel me. People who, no matter
what is probably their best intentions cannot get it right with me.
I hear their voices and I cringe. They make my shoulders try
to touch my ears when I’m around them. I become the very worst version of me in
their presence.
I've been reflecting on this lately. I strive to be an
inclusive person who doesn't judge. It honestly bothers me when I find myself
pushing someone away unless well deserved.
I can test out Einstein's definition of insanity with these people. I try again and again to like them. To include them. To welcome them into my heart and life.
I wonder if this is how we become abuse victims? We take our
natural impulse and force it down. We want to feel certain ways and so we
justify the negative away. We don’t trust our instincts.
Our instincts can also be incredibly inconvenient. In life,
we are closest to our family and dearest friends. We also sometimes shouldn't
be.
Even when the voice is inconvenient.
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