I had a cousin recently pass away at the age of 43 from a sudden heart attack. He left behind a wife and 6 children. It's unconscionable.
Death brought many visitors to my stoop. Regret. Sorrow. Anger. Confusion. Vulnerability. Psychosomatic symptoms. Tears. Rivers of tears.
It also brought an idea that I have been turning over like a coin in my mind's eye.
Because our society doesn't create a welcoming space for grief, sorrow, anger...we all have learned our own coping mechanisms for how to appear "ok" when out in public.
The other day I was grocery shopping and was overcome with a wave of despair. My eyes welled up. I couldn't hold it all in. I was a sea of emotions in the frozen food aisle, and I was doing my very best to stem the tide and pull it all back inside. Make it tidy. Make it small. Make it palatable to anyone else who might need frozen corn.
And that's when this idea came to me.
I felt as though I were coated in gold leaf. From the outside, I appear to be solid. Luminous. Radiant, even.
Scrape just below the surface and I am there. The true me dwells there.
She's just hidden beneath what our society values.
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